Do you remember a time when Sex was always a top priority? Is it still like that for you? Chances are life has gotten in the way of your insatiable desire, but the good news is you can get it back if you do some work. You can feel like you’re a carefree teen or twenty something with nothing getting in your way of a quick jaunt of fun.
Sex, sexual desire and libido are as crucial to your health as nutrition, hydration, stress reduction and fitness. The difference is that most people don’t talk about sex and sexual health as freely as the other topics. Many things have to line up in order for you to have that desire as often as you want.
Health and Sex are directly related. Did you know that a healthy sex drive and sex life can have huge health benefits for you. For instance, on a physical level, sex may help to decrease your blood pressure, strengthen your immune system and calm you down. Isn’t that a conundrum, stress impacts your sex life and sex calms down your stress levels.
Here are some of the Top Culprits of Your Lack Of Sex Drive
Self Confidence and Self Talk
Hormones function like an orchestra or are similar to the spokes on a wheel. Each one depends on the rest and if one is out of balance, the whole performance will suffer. Well your libido may be suffering due to your hormones. Here is what you need to consider…Do you have enough Testosterone floating in your system? Here is some big news, Testosterone isn’t just for men. Testosterone is actually crucial for a woman’s health too. It helps you to feel confident, think clearly, look toned and feel extra sensual and sexual. it is known for being anabolic in your body and stimulate growth and repair too. A key to remember is all of the hormones need to be in balance. Stress, which most people experience a lot of, can also throw off your hormones. If your body has enough excess cortisol floating, it can radically throw off your “sex hormones”. You can have your hormones tested through various labs. Hormones can throw off your brain and thought processes. Keep in mind that a calm brain can equal a better sex life.
Adrenal Fatigue / Stress
Your adrenal glands are tiny glands that sit upon your kidneys. As I have written about recently, Stress is a huge culprit in many illnesses and in your lacking interest in sex. Adrenal fatigue occurs when your adrenal glands cannot adequately meet the demands of stress. Your adrenal glands help to keep your hormonal system in check. Your adrenals need attention. The good news is that this condition can usually be reversed. Some things you need to do are eat right and get enough sleep. If you often feel fatigue, lack of energy, unmotivated, overwhelm, cold, difficulty with weight loss, under the weather or other “normal” symptoms, adrenal fatigue may be an issue for you. Most commonly associated with intense or prolonged stress, it can also arise during or after acute or chronic infections, especially respiratory infections such as influenza, bronchitis or pneumonia. To get a handle on the stress, here are 4 key categories to examine in your life:
Are you too stressed for sex?
Is Stress coming from your job?
Is Stress coming from your family and or money within the family?
Is Stress in your Relationships?
Are you Happy with Yourself? Do you make time for exercise, fun, spirituality and sex
There are 3 stages of adrenal fatigue and you do not want to get into the third stage, it can take over a year to correct. There are tests to confirm if you have it and what stage you may be in. With lifestyle modifications, supplements and food you could be on your way to feeling your best again, in and out of the bedroom. Here is a tip: You need at least 7 uninterrupted hours of sleep a night for good sex. Try going to bed at the same time every night, sleep in a dark room and use aromatherapy candles or scents such as lavender or vanilla in your room or on your body.
Self Confidence and Self Talk
Have you considered that what you tell yourself could be impacting your desire and sex drive. Have you ever said to yourself, “When I lose more weight, I will feel better about myself?”, “If I could just tone up, I would be more attractive?”, “When I have _____________, I will feel ____________”, “I wish I was sexier, had less flab, or had tighter abs” All of these statements are the very words that diminish your value and confidence deep within you. Think about it, would you ever say any of those things to somebody else? Probably not, so why do you bring yourself down like that? Try changing your programming to be more positive for yourself. You will immediately be sexier and more desirable to your partner, spouse, or lover the minute YOU BELIEVE you are Sexy from within. Sexy is not just how you look, it’s also how you feel and how you carry yourself. We all have our moments of self-doubt, but you need to persevere and reassure yourself of all the positive things in your life. The minute you concentrate on all of your positives, what you love about yourself and treating yourself as if you believe you are sexy and deserve to feel good on all levels, doors will open. Your sex drive will even increase and you will be more attractive to others. Ask yourself this…”What will have to change for you in your life and belief system to know you are beautiful, handsome and desirable?” Then ask “What’s stopping you from having that?”
What do you do to take care of your body? Who’s advice do you follow? Are you a cardio junkie because you read that it will make you lose weight? Have you ever invested in yourself by hiring a professional with good references and that looks like they take care of themselves, to teach you what to do? Maybe this will be an incentive to continually work out with weights. Think of your muscles as a mini heart, in other words, it’s a mini pump, working to keep blood flowing to your brain and your genitals. The quality of your sex life will suffer if you allow yourself to lose muscle mass. On the flip side, Exercise can act as an aphrodisiac since it causes the body to release endorphins. Endorphins give you the feel good emotion and they also may help to produce testosterone, which (as stated earlier) powers your sex drive. research shows that people who exercise regularly are more easily aroused and reach orgasm easier and quicker than those that don’t exercise.
Diet is key in feeling healthy, controlling your stress, building muscle and keeping your brain chemicals in check. An important component of food is that it can keep your blood sugar levels stable. Blood sugar levels are related to diabetes, metabolic syndrome and other diseases. A large waist line can kill your sex life and here’s why…Obesity and excess weight will affect your heart muscles which will affect your blood flow, which makes sex more difficult. To balance blood sugar levels, try these tricks (drink Rockin Wellness, which is a superfood shake), suck on cinnamon sticks or add cinnamon to your food, take fish oil every day, and consider taking chromium supplements (under the guidance of a professional)
I am going to now give you some foods to begin including in your diet, that should make everything else easier to manage.
Oysters are full of zinc which is vital for testosterone production. Oysters also are known to improve dopamine levels which boosts libido in men and women.
Bhimu Patil, researcher and director of the Fruit and Vegetable Improvement Center at Texas A&M University, stated eating Watermelon delivers Viagra-like effects on blood vessels throughout the body and may increase libido! This cool refreshing fruit contains citrulline amino acid. Citruline is good for the cardiovascular system and helps relax the blood vessels that increase sex drive. Now is the season for fresh watermelon. (see my last blog for a watermelon smoothie recipe)
Pumpkin Seeds are high in zinc which is essential for healthy sperm production and preventing testosterone deficiency in men. They are also loaded with libido vitamins and minerals like vitamin B, E, C, D, K and minerals including calcium, potassium, niacin and phosphorous. Eat them out of the box of on top of a salad.
Goji Berries are known as a strong sexual tonic in Asia. They increase testosterone levels, which stimulates libido in both men and women. Furthermore, they improve overall stamina, mood and wellbeing, all of which are vital for an optimum sex life. Add them to your salads, smoothies, oatmeal and frozen yogurt.
Maca (I add it to smoothies) is known by many as Peru’s natural Viagra. Apparently this natural root has been known throughout Peru’s history as a sex enhancing root passed down by the Inca. It is known to increase strength, stamina, energy, fertility and libido. Maca makes people desire sex more frequently, especially women.
Chilis contain Capsaicin, which promotes the release of chemicals that can raise your heart rate and trigger the release of endorphins that give you a natural high, which pumps that libido!
Ready go Garlic…Eating raw garlic may make your partner turn the other way in bed, but it can certainly stir up your sexual desire. The heat in garlic is what stirs up your libido. Garlic contains allicin, which is thought to increase blood flow to sexual organs. You need to eat this for about a month straight to reap the rewards.
Avocado – are full of healthy fats and properties known to increase your libido. They contain very high levels of folic acid, and give the body sexual energy. Avocado is also high in vitamin B6, which is a potent hormone regulator. Ancient aztecs name for avocados meant testicles since they resemble them. There is a lot to be said for foods that resemble body parts. Traditions say those foods give those body parts wonderful support. Make or buy guacamole a few times a week, or cut avocado slices into your salads or on top of a sandwich.
Basil – Basil increases circulation, stimulates the sex drive and boosts fertility. This tasty herb cultivates a sense of wellbeing, which allows one to experience sexual bliss. Grow some Basil this summer.
Asparagus is very high in vitamin E, which is a vital nutrient for good sex. Known for its suggestive shape, asparagus is high in a B vitamin known as folate that aids in increasing the production of histamine. Histamine is important for a healthy sex drive in men and women.
Chocolate – Modern day foodies know raw cacao in its pure unadulterated form is a superfood. It has more antioxidants than green tea or red wine. It also contains a stimulating chemical known as phenylethlamine, that stimulates the sense of excitement and well-being. The Journal of Sexual Medicine published a study that found, women who enjoyed a piece of chocolate every day had a more active sex life than those who didn’t. Try Vita Raw Organic Chocolate or 1 of the recipes in my Chocolate Cookbook (soon to be released). Just make sure you are eating dark chocolate to get the best sex enhancing benefits.
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