Is Happiness Illusive or Right in Front Of You??
Is it possible to always be happy most of the time? Lots of people feel you can’t and that may be true, but I believe that mindset has a lot to do with it.
The minute your thoughts go to the negative, your results won’t happen. When you say I can’t do something, that one thought is sealing the deal. Focus on the vision, the goal and the feelings you want to experience. I can almost guarantee, you’ll get a different outcome. When your mind is focused and you can see and feel the results you want to have—-they manifest. This may sound like crazy voodoo but I swear it’s worked for me. I’m not saying things will magically appear, you still have to work at it, but the journey becomes easier and the steps and pieces will align to give you clarity.
Be selfish, when your happiness and sanity depend on it. For those who feel compelled to nurture, give and do for others…are you also doing and giving to yourselves. If you find yourself constantly saying yes to people, always putting other people’s needs first , this applies to you. Think of a gas tank eventually running dry; the same goes for people and if you don’t refill your tank, you will also run dry. For us that may look like anger, overwhelm, sadness, depression, mid life crisis or worse… disease. You can’t keep giving without refueling your own tank and expect to continue at full speed. The world has ways of making you slow down that aren’t in your plans. I learned from a wise man that Your Yes has no value until you learn to say NO. Get Selfish (to a degree and live a longer, happier life)
I made a choice to choose myself this past January, so I could be “happy” 24/7 and not during parts of the day. My experience tells me that you can be happy even in an “unhappy” situation, the bigger problem is when you can’t manage the emotions and they spill over into everything else.
The minute I took the plunge, my life changed for the better again. Within days, it was like the Universe had been holding back “results and opportunities” until I was ready to leave behind what was blocking me from being 100% present in receiving. I could no longer live in the shadow of “pretend.” Within weeks, I decided to take a long vacation to the other side of the country; completely out of the box for me. This experience has been one of the most fulfilling I’ve ever had. It is one more thing that has changed who I am and better yet who I am becoming, again.
When you feel happy from the core (and I will say that I always thought that’s who I was and what I portrayed), it resonates and travels to others. I never expected so many friends, and even acquaintances, to say to me “You are a completely different person than I realized. Now, it’s like being back in college when everything was exciting; I feel like Me again.
Surround yourself with people you love, trust and can talk to. Choose to laugh a lot, give a lot, in fact give more than you ever expect to receive and stop to appreciate nature (blue skies, the ocean, beach, flowers blooming, shapes in the clouds, rabbits, running horses, rainbows and dolphins)
This brings me back to happiness and clarity. From what I’ve learned and experienced happiness comes from within; meaning you may be in a shitty circumstance and still be happy. How?? Try making a playlist of your favorite songs, think of the best 3 moments of your life, or focus on what you love about yourself. When you are feeling that confidence, joy and memories, you can’t be sad, mad or upset in those moments. When you feel doubt and unhappiness creeping back in—go to the things that immediately make you smile. Obviously, there will be moments of melancholy or sadness out of your control but that’s expected…I’m referring to your overall well-being and attitude.
Here are 8 quick fixes to incorporate for an optimistic, happier outlook (naturally)
1. Go back to basics and change your diet (get rid of white processed foods), eliminate gluten, drink more water (1/2 your body weight in ounces sprinkled with sea salt), give up vices for a few days, get more sleep and movement into your day. These basics will alter your mood at the core.
2. Get outside and let the sunshine in. Try getting 20 minutes of sunshine during the high times of the day without sunscreen to boost your vitamin D. Vitamin D is a pro-hormone that has a lot to do with your mood. It’s no coincidence that people are more sad and depressed in the winter months, especially in the northeast. Sunshine makes you happy at a physiological level.
3. Get to the beach and near the ocean. Water is calming and grounding. The sound of the waves rolling in and out also does a lot for your mood.
4. Spend time with people that make you laugh. When you’re laughing you can’t also be unhappy in that moment. The brain can’t experience both emotions in those minutes.
5. Hold Hands, Make Out and Make Love (Stop making excuses of having no time or being to tired) If you have physical problems with sex… evaluate your diet, fitness and food choices. In fact, try getting to the gym and having a trainer put you through a great workout, if you do it right, you’ll want to run home and have sex (that’s the after-effect of a really good workout)
6. Unplug for as long as possible.
7. Change it up and change your brain for example, try a different side of the bed, order new foods at your favorite restaurant, make a new friend, do something that scares you, go on vacation somewhere warm, push your limits, think out of the box and most importantly, if anything or anyone in your life isn’t working for you…make the choice to correct it, address it or leave it or them behind and move on.
8. Set your intention each day for how you want to feel and at least 1 thing you will accomplish
Life is to short and there are no do-overs. You know when it’s time for any changes. Listen to your own voice and instincts. They are there for a reason.
You must be a happy I before you can ever be a happy We.
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